Rollie Fingers

If facial hair was legos, I'd have a big bucket of blocks right now. The longer my beard grows, the more attached I feel to it, but I'm not trying to go out like ZZ Top, so I know it's only a matter of time before I take some clippers to it. But lately, during my morning sessions of staring at myself in the mirror, I've been wondering what destiny holds for beard. With no where to turn for answers, I asked the one person who is always reliable when I have questions: Google. I started looking at prize winning beards and various mustache styles, weighing my options. That's when I ran across the king of mustaches.

Could I pull off a waxy handlebar? I tried to picture myself rocking one, but could never get a clear image (like trying to watch a scrambled cable channel). But there is no denying the magnificence of Rollie's stache, so I busted the paint and razors out and got to work. He was done on a lid of one of those big wooden record player cabinets, and is about 2' x 1.5'.

In my research, I found that most dudes that wear a handlebar mustache look like gigantic dipshits. For some reason, Rollie Fingers is the only guy able to pull one off, and I gotta salute the son of a bitch for that.

Here's a bonus animation feature some of the layers getting layed down. I meant for it to be more detailed, but kept forgetting to take pictures of progress. ...Anybody know how to get spraypaint out of beard hair?

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